Wow. I thought you had just started this journey and here you have already been thru the wringer.
Seeing an attorney will make you feel better. After 20 years as a SAHM, I felt trapped. Until I found that as a 20 year+ Sahm I am eligible for a third of H's GROSS income forever, and half of our property and probably the whole house plus child support. Each State is different so you need to know what your options are in yours. Oh, and if I were to leave the house, I would probably lose it. AZ does not look kindly on infidels, but I needed PI level proof. Many attorneys will give you an initial hour free consult. A big name helps too. Are you in or near a large city? Oh, and if you speak to many of them, your H may not be able to use them!
I am not sure I understand why you were arrested but it is all public record so an anonymous tip about your court records to the paper? maybe later. Talk to an attny first.
I know what you mean about seeing glimpses of the "old H", which is probably why you are still there. Separating and having no contact (and now some) is saving me from the daily abuse, preserving my feelings for my H, giving me time and space to evaluate my past and marriage as well as my future possibilities.
Up til now, almost everything you have said and done has served to feed the exciting drama of the affair. (If you don't know what I mean I can explain it further.) Both affair partners will only see and hear that which justifies/rationalizes their affair. You cannot reason with them, educate them, etc. You can only set boundaries and protect yourself and your kids. (ie: I will not tolerate you carrying on with OW, while you are married to me and living in my home with my children.")
You seem to be a smart, compassionate, woman/mother. Let's rediscover your power! It is there, reclaim it!
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
