I have a mom like this. I have to tell her to stop rearrainging knicknacks and pictures in my home. Stop planting "cuttings" from her garden into mine. Stop trying to do things behind my back and tell my husband you spoke to me and it's OK. She is a complete menace.
Oh--here's my favorite. She was 1 hour late to my wedding--yes--held up the whole service for an hour. She told everyone the reason she was late was because "nobody gets married at 4 in the afternoon."
OMG, Laura- you totally have a mother like I do!!!
Total craziness! It's nice to hear from others that deal with this!!!
I am back to limited contact with her.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Yes, on and off through the years, contact has been limited for MY sanity.
She one time held my S on the floor of the backseat of my car and took his pretzels.
He was 5. I was dropping her off at her hotel which was 5 minutes away, and he and I had an hour's drive ahead of us.
We were just in Disney World and he ran around like a typical kid and forgot to eat much. My mother had eaten all kinds of junk--she doesn't miss a meal.
I didn't speak to her for 2 years. She has NEVER apologized for it.
So what do YOU do for Mother's Day??lol. It's a tough day around here....
Yes, on and off through the years, contact has been limited for MY sanity.
She one time held my S on the floor of the backseat of my car and took his pretzels.
....
Yikes! Nice, huh? These narc mothers think that they are in charge or our kids. At least I have to assume some narcasistic personality disorder. Not to say I am correct or am super smart to try to make diagnoses but it seems to fit.
Yes, hate to deal with people like this. I did call and try to find out if we would still have a Mother's Day event for her b/c the kids do love being with her (which is the d@mn hook that prevents me from total NC). But she played her predicatable victim card, all about her. I hurt her feelings and I don't want to be with her (that actually is the honest truth) and Wah!!!
So I said OK, fine. So no Mother's day event for her. I was not going to try and appease her and plead with her (what she was looking for) for a mother's day with her.
Oh, boo hoo. My own daughter who I gave life to does not love me... boo hoo. I only try so hard and she is so mean and says hurtful things.... Oh, she loves to twist the stories.
My hubby actually get a kick out of comparing stories she tells us...
Is your mom near by? Will you see her?
Last edited by june72; 05/07/1011:50 PM.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Once I mentioned I was on the way to the hospital that day to get a recomendation from my nurse orientator. Stated, mom, please let me handle this and not go up there and ask for me. (only b/c she asked me should she ask for the recommendation for me) Wouldn't you know- she must have hung up the phone and ran up there (no need to be on that floor), hunted down that nurse and asked her for it with in minutes of getting off the phone with me. So an hour later I arrive and ask and the nurse states, well your mom already was up here and asked!!!
Another time she got really crazy about something nutty so I told her she had to leave. She repeatedly refused to leave my house. So I very calmly took her by the arm and stated you are leaving. Well she dropped to the floor on her bottom and stated I will not leave. So then I was dragging her by her legs to the door with her complaining that she does not have to leave if she does not want to and there is something wrong with me. Well, she was hard to drag and I was like, how the heck do I get her out of here? So I stopped, told her she has five minutes to leave or I am calling to police to get her out of my house, and walked into another room. I came back five minutes later with the phone and said, ok, goodbye and she got up of the floor and smiled (she always inappropriately smiles) and stated it wasn't too bad a day for us, was it? I stated ok, whatever. She is walking out of the door and is bubbly and giggly and states "toodles" ????
Or the time she stated if I dare paint my bathroom red (after days of calling and harrassing me about it) she would never allow me to have her ashes. B/c she would never allow her ashes to be in such a garrish house. I stated ok, mom, mean, but ok....
Oh my goodness, I could totally rant on and on Few people deal with this level of crazy....
My father was actually diagnosed as NPD. All the time I had to listen about him. He would rant and rave. "Can you believe the doctor said I was NDP, me?" At the age of 12 I knew he was...All he ever did was curse and talk about himself. Who had wronged him, why his life was bad, why my mother was c*nt (yup his favorite name for her). I mean just today I told my hubby the chicken nugget incident. I was ten and the McDonalds chicken mcnugget fryer was broken so my father ranted and screamed at this poor 16 year old till she ran in back crying and a manager had to try and calm my dad down... I wanted to disappear. Events like that happened way, way too often....
Last edited by june72; 05/08/1012:05 AM.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
No, I won't be seeing her. She lives 3 1/2 hours away and HATES driving up here (we are kind of in the boonies)--she can never follow any kind of directions and this has worked out well in that regard!lol.
My sister will have the honors.lol. That reminds me--I need to call sis and give her a pep talk. I usually can "steer" a conversation with my mother, but my sister is not able to do that, and has been left shattered at the ends of these things.
One of the great things about this board (and this is my second time--I was here 6 years ago for about a year DBing) is learning the art of detachment. She can whine and wail and it has almost no effect on me. I am careful when she is being charming not to tell her anything major because she LOVES to use that against me.
She is most definitely narcissistic. Not totally evil (and I have gone back and forth on that one). Sometimes very funny (or I have developed a sense of humor about her).
I sent her a nice card--way nicer than she deserves.lol.
I sent her a nice card--way nicer than she deserves.lol.
Laura
Laura- ROTFLMAO!!!
Yes, this board is totally great for others areas of life. I had no clue what a boundary was and how you could enforce one. I now learned the lingo of how to try and tame the beast (mom)- haha!!!
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Boundaries are something I was never, ever allowed to have while I was a child. No wonder H is the way he is--I don't restrict him by making a clear boundary.
It has taken a long time to figure out that I'm having to do this to have a good marriage--He's like a kid running around not knowing when I'm going to say "stop." He's just as out of control and just as angry that I WON'T DO IT!!
Do you think I'll figure this out before I die?lol.
I absolutely know how I got here (thanks mom) but still...I am an adult and it's up to me to figure it out. Seems to be happening slowly but...it's happening.
