I am glad that your husband is still in the home and has decided to remain there. And also that he is still going to church with you. May I ask how long you have noticed the changes in him? I ask that because my husband was going to church with me the whole time up until he left. I noticed changes in him over 2 years ago and they just got progressively worse. He kept distancing himself from me. The major thing that I noticed was something he stopped telling me. He has asked me every day "have I told you today that I love you?" Then one day last June he stopped saying it. When I said something to him about it, his answer was "hmmm. Hadn't noticed that. Oh well." He was so flippant, like it didn't phase him in the least. It pierced through me like a knife. I tried to get him to agree to marriage counseling, but he refused. We were like married singles just sharing a house. Then on Nov. 6th he blindsided me by leaving and having divorce papers served on me.
Since you have read so much, I'm sure it's no surprise to you that it gets worse before it gets better. Since this sounds like your husband is not too far into midlife crisis yet, you have time to get your own act together and protect yourself. I would definitely start putting money back for yourself. I only wish I had some warning before my h left. I am unemployed, getting a small unemployment check. Our house payments are not being made and I could lose our home if a miracle does not happen soon. No woman should have to go through that while also dealing with a marriage falling apart. So, protect yourself for the worst now while you can. If things don't get horrible for you, there's no harm done with saved money.
Perhaps besides sharing books we have read, we can also help each other with what we find helpful with internet research. However, Jack is right. There is a lot of junk out there! So far I have just been going on my gut. If it sounds like it's too far out there for me, I stop reading and go on to something else. Remember, garbage in, garbage out. I have enough going on in my head without letting garbage in, too!
