but then i see advice that suggests the LBS pit themselves against the WAW. it seems counterproductive to the person looking to save their m.
That's my point. We won't give advice that is counterproductive. The advice is going to be counter-intuitive to someone new. Give me a example of how someone told you to "pit" yourself against your spouse.
It was relatively easy for me to buy in to the DB concepts because of my professional and military training, sports experiences both coaching and playing, my spiritual beliefs and all the research I had done on personal growth and relationships. DBing can possibly help you save your marriage.
This is a very loving, supportive, interesting and caring group of people here. The common goal is to save marriages. If your spouse was here they would get the same advice. Have some faith that we want you to succeed in reconciling and becoming the best person you can. Those goals are not exclusive of each other.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
