1. Leave my W and M behind, for good. 2. Keep myself so emotionally strong and avoid co-dependence so that if she does leave me again I'm not devastated. 3. Take it upon myself to make sure our M stays strong and healthy, i.e. make it "affair proof".
The last option is the only one I'm interested in, and it would depend greatly on my W committing to the exact same thing.
Actually I misspoke. Among options 2 and 3, I'm only interested in 3. Option 1 is still a possibility too. Although I definitely want to avoid unhealthy co-dependence, option 2 sounds too cold.
And yet, most people here -- and probably MWD herself --would tell you "#2" is closer to what the true goal and spirit of DBing is.
"3" smacks of control. "2" is WITHIN your control, and healthier, in my opinion.
