W still wants separation, need to DB more

[OfficerInNeed]

With my second DB coaching behind me, I more confident.

We spoke about how the past 3 1/2 weeks went, the good and the bad. Comparing how things are now to how they were 3 weeks ago. Turns out things are more positive.

I learned that I need to affirm my W feeling more than I have been.

- If W says "you made me feel this way" or "You did this to me" say in response "I cannot believe I said such hurtful things", "It makes me sick to my stomach knowing I hurt you", "I am ashamed of the terrible things I done"

* something that really stood out to me when DB coach said this. I thought "well wouldn't that push her away more and encourage her to move on to someone new" but the response was "She can do that either way, at least you are letting her know (in a humble way) that you realize your faults and empathize, other wise you are telling her the way she feels is wrong"

We spoke about button pushing again. Need still work on reprogramming my buttons.

- When I ask my W if she would like to do something, sometimes she shrugs her shoulders other times she will say "can do that" , "if you want" , "up to you" and there are times where she does not feel like doing a single thing even if she suggested herself.

was told to make the decision and do it anyway.

I asked about the possibility of initiating a R talk because of the current state we are in and the uncertainty of the direction we are heading right now, most of it is assumption I was told ABSOLUTELY NOT.
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As for an update:

W still not feeling well, she called off work again today. We had some descent interactions/conversations besides that she has just been resting/sleeping a lot so I just let her be and help out when she asks me to.