I understand you have quite a bit to think about and work through.
The thing is... you did give her MANY options for a long time. She chose not to take advantage of any of them. Once you stopped giving her options she sued you. Yes, the legal path will be costly and expensive but that is what she chose. She certainly had an awful lot of leeway for 2+ years to make different choices.
If you feel the only way to protect yourself and your children is to offer her more options then I think you *really* need to evaluate who your W really is.
In most situations we have many options. As time passes the options dwindle. Are you required to offer her options again simply to avoid a legal battle? IMO that keeps you very much under her control.
