More journaling: I remember way back when H was D his first W, he mentioned that when he asked for D, she held onto him and he felt nothing, absolutely nothing. He relayed this info to me with disgust in his voice, he had total contempt for her.
I guess I've been thinking part of the reason he didn't leave me last time with his EA and this time, is because I react with strength when he tries to leave.
Also, when we ML last, he was drunk but started crying and saying "I'm just so scared." And he's mentioned before that he thought he came back to me after the last EA b/c he was scared of leaving me. Fear seems to be a large motivator in his life.
Now, he also was in a total fog at the time that he said both things, but perhaps underlying emotions came out best then?
I'm still reading chocolateyes threads from the past and this is what is prompting me thinking about H so much, so don't worry, guys, I'm not getting or feeling weak. I'm just trying to figure out something important that seems to be just under the surface, something that's poking out saying "pay attention to me, this is important" and I haven't gotten it yet.
