Still, First of all, I'm sorry you are here. I am fairly new myself to this forum and I have a long way to go in what I have to learn. I totally understand what you are feeling! I, too have read many books.....a lot of the same you have read.....and I still search the internet for more information on midlife crisis. I have always believed knowledge is power and my family has depended on me to do research on various subjects. Now, I'm the only one doing the research because no one else wants to know. My husband once mentioned he could be in midlife crisis, but quickly gave up the idea. All of our kids are adults and my boys live on their own. My daughter lives with me, but since my husband hasn't spoken to her since he left on Nov. 6th, she has a horrible hatred for him.
I know what you are looking for. The answer to how long is this going to last, how much longer will we all have to endure this, is any of this doing damage to our children, will our marriage be saved, does he still desire me, does he or will he love me again, etc. Well, the answer to all of those questions is..... no one knows. I know....I hate that answer, too! We women are geared to be "fix it" people and this is something we can't fix. It's killing me and I feel like I have to sit on my hands, keep tape over my mouth, and do nothing! And, yeah, that's what I have to do.
I don't know if you are a Christian or not, but as for myself, I get encouragement from reading my Bible. And I am currently re-reading Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer. It is an excellent book! She basically just stresses how we need to stop negative thinking. And, yes I know how hard that is to do when your life is falling apart.
I will encourage you to read these threads. I have learned nuggets from each one I've read. Most of the stories here are all alike. So, in a way, it's a misery loves company kind of thing. Please don't get discouraged by what some people say or tell you. Some here are pretty straight forward and blunt. It's like a hit between the eyes. And that can be good for us! It does make you think about every aspect of the situation. It makes you examine what we need to change in our own lives. And while that is painful to do, and it's no big thrill to admit our mistakes, it's also very liberating.
I have been with my husband for 33 years. When anyone is married that long, it's hard to even think of a part of my life that did not involve him. He's in every corner of this house. In every picture, every memory, even the songs I hear on the radio. I can not bear to think of a life without him. So, I am still dealing with denial that that is even a possibility. Like I told you, I still have a long way to go.
Just keep posting. Keep posting and keep reading. Listen especially to the ones who have been through this a long time. Yes, there are success stories here. And some of those people continue to come here and give advice. They are like nuggets of gold to me. The one thing I learned from here is to fake it until you make it. Amen to that! Take care of yourself. (( hugs ))
I know....I hate that answer, too! We women are geared to be "fix it" people and this is something we can't fix. It's killing me and I feel like I have to sit on my hands, keep tape over my mouth, and do nothing! And, yeah, that's what I have to do. 
