at least your h put his foot down. mine has to grow a pair. and i don't mean feet!
to avoid diverting from the original subject .. i will try to keep the mil talk to a minimum.
thanks for the encouragement.
i hope that h going dark is really his way of utilizing the time and space he needs to sort things through.
i am using this time to do things for me. honestly, i have been very patient, understanding, and generous throughout the process without being a doormat. i think i have been fair. i did not react to h throwing temper tantrums when he felt he wasn't getting his way. i basically took a page out of Laura Munson's book and just let h deal with himself. all i wanted for me, was that at the end of the process .. d or no d, i wanted to be true to myself. i did not want to let the d process turn me into an ugly person. i did not want to look back with regrets on things i did or said. this was my core value. i think before i speak because once things have been said, you can't take it back. my h has said many things. and i had to do what Neo from the Matrix did .. move out of the way when the bullets came flying. yes, the words hurt. but with a bit of compassion, i understand it's like a child telling his mother that he hates her. the child really doesn't hate his mother.
as long as there isn't someone else, there is always hope.
it's funny. everyone who knows us as a couple, didn't see it coming and thought we were made for each other. when they hear that we're separated, the first question i get is .. can it be saved? it's like fairy tale that didn't end in happily ever after and everyone is saddened. i have well meaning friends that tell me not to give up. because far too many people rush into d, only to regret it later on. they regret not fighting for their m and instead, ended up miserable afterwards. i don't want to look back and regret not fighting for my m.
i shouldn't say that i'm fighting for my m.
the choice is his to make. i am here if he wants to be with me. but it's ultimately his choice. i'm not walking away yet. but when i do. i will be gone for good.
so make your choice. needy parents who manipulate you with guilt? or a partner in crime who's touch had a calming effect on you?
