I have made many mistakes in my life. I would be the first to say that. I took my life for granted far too many times. I had issues with depression about 10 years ago and was overmedicated as a result. I gained weight, lost self-esteem, and was content/complacent to just "be".
I have since done a whole lot of "me" work. I am now a healthy weight, see an IC regularly, read lots of self-help books, find outlets for my emotions, and spend lots of time with my kids. On a personal level, I am healthier and happier with me than I have ever been.
However, my marriage is so integral to who I am and I want more than anything to repair my relationship with my H and to restore our family to a functioning unit.
I know that no one can give me the answers. I also know that MLC can be such a destructive beast all on its own. I have watched my H go from being a huge protector of his family to be in a destructive mode for anything that symbolized cohesiveness. He wants to leave, yet he stays. He wants to remain married, yet wants no commitment. He wants to be alone, yet schedules a vacation together. He wants no responsibiity, yet signs up for every committee and additional task at work.
I have known this man since he was 16 and he has always been the most kindhearted, compassionate individual. This person he is right now is very different. He has even told me that he doesn't know why he feels the way he does and that apathy is all he has for our marriage....nothing seems to change that for him.
