Jeesh! I go away for a weekend and look what happens!!!

Okay - time for some serious work here:
First - make a list of the "changes" your H is looking to see in you. How are you doing at demonstrating those changes to him? What could you be doing better?

Second - There's an article in the current Woman's World magazine about the things that make you fall in love. Many of them are things that worked for me with my H. I don't remember them all, but there was a scientific basis for each of them. It included things like novelty (are you wearing new clothes and lingerie yet? If not - GET SOME! New perfume too. Pull as many 180s as you can - even little things like sitting in a different chair, etc.) and adrenaline (watched a scary movie with him yet?). Also, as hard as it is right now, you have to make it FUN for him to be at home. So work on that PMA - my H would come home in a rotten depressed mood, but I would be in the kitchen with the Tom Petty CD cranking, a glass of wine, dancing around with a great dinner cooking. Sometimes it took hours, but eventually I could get his attitude to improve - the key is to make HIS attitude match yours, instead of letting HIS attitude bring YOU down.

Third - make some notes and put them in your pocket. I just ran across one of these today when I was Flylady cleaning in my bathroom! (Check out the thread in just for fun if you don't know about the flylady). Things like 180s, act as if, will this get you closer to your goal etc. - whenever I needed to I would sneak into the bathroom and read it over to remind myself. Focus, patience and determination.

Fourth - now this depends on your sitch - may be right for some, not for others - but instead of waiting for him to show up - if he's late or not answering his cell - get a sitter and GO OUT! Don't come home until after he does. Let him wonder where you were and who you were with. Don't let him take you for granted (obviously, this approach might not work for anyone with a history of infidelity or irresponsibility - but if you are usually the steady reliable one, making him wonder can be a good thing!)

Fifth - don't say ILY - but if you just can't stand not saying it - try saying a cheery "Love you!" just as you hang up the phone at the end of a call - without any time for him to answer. Also, I used to wait until my H was SOUNDLY asleep and then whisper into his ear all the loving things I wished I could say when he was awake.

Sixth - spice up your sex life. If H isn't very responsive, try waking him in the middle of the night with some oral stimulation Just no crying or emotional talks afterwards, okay? Make it FUN,FUN,FUN! Try something new.

Good luck.

Ellie