I am still confused as to why you feel your character is being judged. IMO this has nothing do with character. Nobody has called you names yet you seem to be very upset.
A specific action that most probably won't pan out how you hoped is not the same as assassinating your character as a whole.
If you really dig in to other threads you will see a trend with WAS's... they do not like to be presented articles, websites, books or have C'ing suggested to them. That is the reason many of suggested you not give her the article as it very well might have the opposite effect you hoped for. And while you might not feel it is a controlling act on your part, why not at least ponder the idea of how it is perceived by others?
Nobody is suggesting you are a controlling human being. Many times though a LBS takes specific actions that are controlling due to their loss of control over the situation. That doesn't make you a bad person or a person with flawed character. In fact, it makes you pretty normal.
You keep stating that "doing nothing" is not in your nature. Ok, I get that but the best thing you can do is not focus on your WAS and what she is doing and focus 110% on you. Addressing your own flaws/issues (we all have them) certainly is not "doing nothing".
There are many people on this forum who are going through their second divorce. It's not unreasonable to ask what you learned about yourself and marriage after the first time around. IMO that can provide an awful lot of insight as to why things are heading the way they are heading in your second marriage. And yes, I understand children, finances, jobs, extended family <insert issue here> play secondary roles but what about your role? The question isn't about blame, not in the least. Improvement must start with self examination for all of us.
