I will echo what Kat has said. Another possibility is that you each maintain a separate account for one's personal discretion, and contributing to joint ventures together. If your H has new tools in his own personal budget, after all other necessary expenses, then he can do as he pleases. But if he hasn't yet contributed to a particular joint fund (one you have both determined together to be of greater precedence) then he has to contribute to that first. So you set up a "fix the sheetrock" or more general "home repairs" fund that you each contribute to -- and let that be the means by which things get done and avoid things getting neglected.
(I can tell you I've had a long time now to think about this now and I wish I had thought of and implemented such a plan when I was still M'ed. The ex would have had less to complain about my guy-thing need for new "toys" and we both would have come to grips with what our priorities as a couple really were. I would have been far more judicious in my own spending had I not seen how she tended to squander our resources herself.)
I concede that it wouldn't work in everyone's case, but it's worth a thought.
