This is so hard, isn't it?! Hang in there. I know it's hard but you must cut down on the assuming. And even if he is with OW, he is home isn't he? Sometimes it is hard for them to make the break.
I know I don't want to be in this limbo, but if my H comes home I just trade one set of issues for another~trust. Will I ever be ready? We want our H to come home and then when they are, it seems worse than when they are gone
There is no quick fix here. Frankly I wish I would wake up from this nightmare!