Calling all affair annihilators & boundary setters

[courts0818]

I'm feeling blah! This is probably a normal post-bomb feeling, but UGH.

I think I'm ready to talk and get some answers, but H doesn't seem very interested which is really frustrating. The only thing I've gotten out of him is that supposedly the A ended "awhile ago” (whatever that means) and he's the one that ended it.

I think I want some answers to try to process this, but when we see each other face-to-face we hardly speak. The majority of our communication is through text. And now he has this new job where he goes in around 5am and works until 5:30pm and has been working a bit on the wkends as well. So he has no energy/time to talk about stuff. He's also making less $ and working a ton more hours so he's frustrated.

I know it's typical, but it's so extremely hurtful when a spouse cheats and then doesn't do every last thing possible to make things right.

I read in Not Just Friends that when the A is exposed - the betrayed partner becomes discouraged by the outright lack of devotion and remorse. And the involved partner who wants to be welcomed back with open arms is put off by the betrayed partner's anxiety and issues dealing with the A. That's us, so how do we move forward from this place?

H has been making an effort to come around more, but I need more than just that.