I read this yesterday and since then a lot has happened, at least in my mind. So now today it makes much more sense about the WD, plus the fact that H came back home so fast, headspinning actually.
H did work yesterday most of the day, then was to come to his parent's after work as he was going to hunt all day today. I tried to call him at 4 pm, he didn't answer his cell phone. About 6ish my SS tried to call his dad and there was no answer. D called a little bit later and said he had to work late and would be there in an hour or two. We both thought he was at home getting ready to come up. About 9 H calls again is on his way, from the tavern, he hadn't even been home and was on his way to parents. H didn't bring his hunting clothes because he thought I would be hunting today and he would watch our S. SS said I didn't bring anything, so H didn't show up at his parents. I called our house about quarter ten last night and there was no answer.
H called me about 8 am at his parents, I asked him why he wasn't hunting. H said he wasn't up yet..so I said S and I will be there in about an hour. So we get home about 9ish and h is getting ready to go hunting. Our bed doesn't look lilke it's been slept in either..not sure, but pretty sure.
So I'm ASSuming since H knew I wasn't going to be home last night that H saw her and then he stayed at OW's...he still has her housekey on his key ring as well as her garage door opener in his truck.
Quote: Does your H seem like himself? Does he seem depressed? Many times when they are coming away from n A, they have a hard time of letting go of OW. And when they try, they go into a deep depression. The link between them is very hard to break.
This morning he seemd kind of down. I came into the bedroom happy and H asked me why I was so goofy or whatever, I said can't I be happy around you? H said "you're NOT happy" and wouldn't return my hug or my kiss.
Quote: But obviously, if your H is home, that link IS BREAKABLE -- thank goodness, huh?
I don't know, is it? After last night I'm not so sure, now.
Quote: I don't think my H ever made a clean break from OW, and never completely invested himself back into our M. Because of that, I lost him again.
H hasn't made any kind of break yet. He's seen her Friday night and I'm ASSuming spent some time with OW last night. Has more stuff at OW's house.
Quote: Again, I'm no expert, but I think you're right about your H talking to you about his reasons for being at OW's. In his time, he will open up and talk to you about what is happening. Just like this is a confusing time for you, it is also a confusing time for him this good to remember, as H probably doesn't have a clue how this was going affect him .
I know exactly how you feel...Should I say this? Should I do that? Am I pushing him? I don't want to make him uncomfortable? Is he thinking about her? Etc... You are in a tough spot right now. But do your best to be yourself, give him the space and time he needs to adjust.
Do I ask him about last night? I'm ASSuming he is going to have a rough time breaking from OW as according to H she did 75% of the pursuing and I'm sure OW's not ready to give up yet. She was brazen enough to take him away and I'm sure OW will try to play on my H's emotions.
Oh poor me you're leaving, I don't know if I can do this without you, and blah, blah. I mean OW got him there and he was "kept man" while he was there so maybe H feels like he owes her something, don't know.
This is going to be tough, I probably shouldn't bring anything up about last night should I? I have a feeling he was lying about everything, the only real indication I have that he was drinking last night is that his gut is messed up and this does happen when he drinks.
Maybe now that this weekend is over H will start adjusting and the mess up that happened yesterday won't happen again. I won't be leaving him overnight on his own for awhile.
