The confusion continues and I'm feeling the need to sit him down and talk about WTH is going on with us. The interaction is just like when we were M'd. He is sleeping in my bed, there is MUCH more sex than there was in our M, however there is no intimacy. That would require communication of both of our desires and needs and that isn't happening. I don't have any idea what he wants. I'm beginning to see what I want but I honestly don't think I can have it. Not because I don't think I deserve it, but because I don't think he's capable of giving me what I need.
What do I want:
A rekindling of our romantic connection. Honesty. Trust. To know what direction we are heading.
Why can't I have this?
He won't tell me what he thinks or feels. The status quo is enough for him. My own fears of allowing him any closer.
Every night we snuggle up in bed just like we used to. I lay on his arm and we watch the news together. My twisted mind keeps thinking "did they do this together? What was she like with him? What made her so much better than me?" I want to ask him. I want to know. I need answers. But........I don't know what he wants from me in the long run so those questions don't seem appropriate. It's driving me CRAZY!
This all boils down to I am fairly certain I want to try to put our R back together. I have no idea if he wants the same thing.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
