. . . . and she actually listened to these morons?
Didn't I cover this already? She doesn't listen to them. She has made her own decision already based on her relationship with you up to this point. She talks to them, she shares her feelings/emotions with them, they are her friends, they agree with her, they may even make suggestions which she'll be open to considering, short sighted ones at that but in the end it's to make her feel better.
I told you already, she's "in love" with her feelings, she believes what she is doing is the right thing to do and her friends agree with her because they want her to feel better, they're not going to fight with her, they're going to encourage her to do what "feels" right.
Everything about db'ing is counter-intuitive and until you realize that you're going to be asking the same questions and for what it's worth, you are starting to sound like a moron, you have people posting on your thread, giving you advice and you keep responding with an attitude of "great theories, do you guys have anything to submit which would really work?"
You aren't open minded. You aren't willing to try what works because you haven't hit rock bottom yet. Maybe you don't really care. Maybe because this is your 2nd or 3rd failed marriage, you've already assumed that it's lost so no use in putting effort into it.
If that's the case, just be honest about this.
BTW, Giving your WAS books and magazine articles to get her to change her mind will never work. If those books and articles go against her feelings, all you are doing is continuing to tell her and show her that you are selfish and that you don't want to give her what she wants, you only want what you want. She currently wants to separate and divorce and you are telling her that you don't want that and you want something different, something better and if she justs opens up her eyes and brains, she'll see the logic to what you are saying but you are using your logic to deal with her feelings ("here read this article, its very logical and hopefully it will change your feelings about all of this") and you don't want to give her what she wants, you don't want to communicate to her feelings and agree with them (and get on their good side) and maybe that's been part of your marriage up until now, she wants something but you give her something that you want instead which you feel is better than what she wanted.
Sounds pretty selfish to me.
The db advice is usually counter-intuitive and you're going to have to open your mind to the possibility that what you've done so far doesn't work, your logic isn't fixing anything and if you don't change your methods and embrace some new ideas, you're probably going to lose this marriage.
