Babydoll sorry you are here...my heart breaks for you.I agree that your H is terrified and reality has and is hitting hard.You are a brave lady and got here quickly so hopefully you will get the help you need.
Birth does change people more so the father cos they see what there spouse has to do to get this little miracle into the world.
Hopefully if this is what terrified you H it will snap him back out of it just as quickly...I will include you in my prayers tonight..(they are getting very long as I meet many wonderful people in my sitch).

my sitch:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1996359&page=1
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ME 44
H 45
D 14
D 20
M 22 YEARS
TOGETHER 28YEARS
Bomb Drop 14th July 09
Seperated-living with OW 10mths(14/07/09)
MLC 3years

Silence wasn't golden in this marriage; it was deadly," Dr. Robin L. Smith