I need to come here more often to just vent my fustrations.. because it seems when I don't, I have knowone to let it out with and I end of getting crazed and even more upset.
This week as been very stressful. we have a big project we are trying to get, but as usual H seems the need to take out his fustrations on me. How do I deal with a man who refuses to think he is doing anything wrong, and that because he is the one who actually goes out and works that I should suck up all of his bullcrap that he hands out to me.
Not to mention that I am the one running the business here, taking care of the boys and our personal stuff on top of it. So sick of being unappreciated.
I guess im on a train that just will never port, he's never going to change, and Im stuck here, literally.
He's already predicting how much more equipment he wants to buy before we even get this job, even know we have tons of bills and things to our house that are in dire need of fixing. Really, you don't know the half of it. My ceiling has been without Sheetrock for about a year. We had a leak in one of the pipes and he just dosen't want to spend the money to fix it....but he can buy a new tool...UGG...
All I have been doing is throwing myself into my kids, and no its not healthy to continue to do that, but what else can I do. I honestly don't even want to be around him.
He is leaving Mother's day to go out of state to do a job. Won't probably be back until thurs. or friday.I am actually really looking forward to it, of course I have that nagging ache in the back of my head that wonders what he will be doing with the free time he will have, but this time after the last week or so, I am welcoming it.
The house will be quiet, I won't have him nagging me like crazy and I will be in a better place.
I don't feel like im in control of my life anymore, that he is leading me to where my future will be.
If I get some extra money, this week I plan on doing a couple things for myself. Even if its walking the mall.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
