I agree with coach that H does feel inadequate. And that the last thing he could handle in his life was more reponsibility and pressure which would lead to unhapiness. He's had a tonful of pressure the last few years.
My H is 39 going on 40. But a very young 39! Acts more like 25!
My H didn't have a father or stepfather. One or two father role models however. Had mentioned to others over the years that fatherhood scared him a little, but how unusual is that? All close to him knew that becoming a father would be rather momentus and important for him given his past... i guess I had an inlking just how momentus
Ours was planned. 14 months. fert treatment in 13th month cos of my polycistic ovaries. Happened 'naturally' in 14th month. But still not romantic. I was highly stressed by process and the timeline we had given ourseleves. H told me in final months he thought it would be best to wait until we moved countries, not to rush it, was already stressful enough. I was adamant we 'stick to schedule' and give it our best shot because treatment was covered by the govt health care system in Europe, not in my country, and I knew we would be seperated 3 months and by the time things got rolling again it would mean a 6 month delay (plus expenses). I get pregs, two weeks later make the move overseas, 2-3 weeks later H in OW arms.
Am seeing some parallels with your sitch there....
