new chapter with strange WAW

[futureunknown]

Wow, the 2x4's are whacking me left and right. I'm all bruised up. Thank God I post my thoughts here before I actually do anything. Realize I haven't even contacted W since our interaction last night.

Maybe my posts sound more literal than they are. I have no "plan". I'm not doing anything, just pondering. One thing I've learned through all this is to NOT act impulsively. I'm sure W is wondering "Why isn't he contacting me?" She contacted me twice today, once to tell me how our sick daughter is doing, and once to ask me to go see a movie with her Monday night. I haven't given her a reply yet.

I appreciate everyone's responses and concern. My friends and family are expressing very similar thoughts to what I'm getting here. I'm really not swayed by her words, or kisses, like I would have been a year ago. I'm still very muching GALing. I was out tonight after playing basketball, I have plans tomorrow night, and tentative plans Saturday night too.

Get off the pursuing bandwagon already and let her do some work for a change.

And NOT too available and slightly distant. If I was you I would keep up your friendship with that other lady. I would be one helluva lot less available and would make sure to sidestep the hoops she has prepared for you to jump through.

If she wants back in she will make the effort... I honestly don't know why the heck you're thinking about changing tack now when it has been working. LET HER PURSUE YOU. You are in demand. A valuable commodity. Not just anyone - ESPECIALLY a woman who has cheated on you, used you, abused you, tricked you, lied to you and led you on the wonderful merry-go-round of rejection - can get your attention.

I have done NOTHING to pursue her, not for several months. I'm not sure I even want to reconcile with her. She's the one doing the pursuing.

And here buckwheat is where you still DON'T GET IT. The goal is to own as much mental real estate in her mind as you can get. He OWNS her mind and has had ownership of it for about TWO years.

If she is thinking of you, what you are doing, who you are doing it with, when you are doing it, has she lost you for good, how she can get you back... THAT IS GOOD.

How do I not get it? I totally get it. That's why I'm not responding to her asking for a date yet. She'll be wondering all night.

That's because OM decided that. I bet you that if he so much as sends a small text it will reignite her fantasies and she will drop you like a hot potatoe. PLEASE TRUST ME ON THIS.

I really don't know, but I wouldn't doubt it. Again realize, he's on the other side of the world. She has her kids here. He told her he'd move here, then he weaseled out of it. I think she saw his true colors a bit, but I really don't know. At some point, I need to ask about this, if I care.

BZZZTT ... wrong answer babe. Did you see the escape clause? I did... one word... "planning"

How have your ass-umptions worked out for you in the past?

See how you're being drawn back into the melting pot? A few nice words, a kiss... and Future's hormones and hopes are raging again. Two words: DROP IT.

You're reading too much into this. I was merely pointing out the obvious, that she said she doesn't want to date anyone, then she kissed me, so I assumed she meant she DID want to date me. Given that she asked me out tonight, I'd say I was right. My hopes are irrelevent, since I don't know if I even want her back, let alone hope for it. My hormones are fine, thanks. I admit, my posts sound a little excited. I have waited for this for a long time.

Are you that desperate? If you are I'll put on my diving suit and come visit your wreck at the bottom of the ocean. Transparency is a NON-NEGOTIABLE requirement.

I have to admit, I'm pondering this a bit. I was taken by a post Steve McQueen or gucci or robx posted, that said asking for transparency is a demonsration of weakness. Either I believe and trust her or I don't. If I don't, I should leave her behind, but if I choose not to, I have to be willing to risk further heartbreak.

In case you didn't get the message so far... keep on your previous course. Do not blink. Do not look back. Keep the interesting other girl in the picture. You are nowhere near thinking about reconciliation. Geez man, get a grip on yourself! Are you honestly that easy?

You stay your course and if she is committed she will chase after YOU! She has a proven track record. Are you really that fogged out to see that if she really wants you she will chase you to the ends of the Earth... like she did with OM? Wake up brother. Keep living your wonderful new life of freedom. If she wants "in" she will make the effort.

I hear you loud and clear. I will not be easy. I'm not thinking about reconciliation. I'm thinking about dating her. There were actually two women I was dating recently, but they've both petered out, which is fine. Don't want W to know that though, and if I meet someone else I like, I'll date her too.

I do want to know if W will chase me. She has already chased a bit. I'll keep my distance. Even if I do decide to spend some time with her, I'll be coy about my life, and how she fits into it.