I did see him. I invited him over for dinner and we had a really nice time. we talked. i spoke with a DB coach before, so i didn't talk about the relationship. we laughed and talked. why couldn't we talk this way when we were together??? wtf? It's so sad when he leaves because we didn't even hug. When we first split up he was so affectionate with me so it feel like we are back tracking. are we? why no hug... I'm scared. neither one of us are wearing our rings. he's going to be in our hom while i'm gone. i guess that a good thing, right? maybe he will get comfortable.... I miss him so much. he looked so good and we got along so well that i almost question whether we are better off friends. God, this is so hard. how do you kow if what you're doing is working? i mean how much does the contact on a psysical level mean? he left on a good note i think, i mean it was loaded with yuckiness because we didn't touch, but I think he had a good time.... I just feel like he is headed towards an amicable divorce where as i want reconciliation, and without discussign it, how the hell do i know??
