M&H ---goooood point about the feelings!!! Wow. I vacillate between wanting to save my marriage and S' family and worrying that I will be a pathetic sore loser who will never face reality. Like it is over you idiot!!! Get it thru your thick skull! There is no such thing as Santa Claus! (LOL I am making fun of myself, not truly being down on myself!)
I love knowing the future is wide open...and if WH files, then there is an end. (for now!)
But of course my feelings are all over the place!
Piano, I am going to figure out what the focus of the next session will be. I wish I could pay a therapist for a 4 hour session-I am a planner and like to find solutions after analyzing stuff(pros and cons). I love to have conclusions. I am ENFJ! http://www.okcupid.com/tests/the-keirsey-temperament-sorter-test
So this last year has really taught me to be zen like- live in the present (I don't know anything else about zen)and make decisions based on what I want...not what other people think I should want or do because it makes them uncomfortable.
Therefore I will try to calm down and stabilize (come on anti-D's--kick in already!) And stick to my business like friendly attitude toward WH while enforcing the change in visitation. And more GAL.
No worries-I am dedicated to making sure S is going to have the best life he could under the circumstances. But I WILL NEVER BEFRIEND OW!!!!!!!
Last edited by newmama; 05/07/1003:49 AM.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
YES PIANO--just saw your last post. Stick to our values til the end! I can sleep at night knowing I am.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
NM - can so relate to everything you write: about being the loser who's so co-dependent she cant see reality for what it is. Yup!! We gotta meet reality head on for what it is now, have hope, but live in the present. What a juggling act! As for all over the place feelings....!! I am so there! And I just don't know if behaving in conistent manner when dealing with a WAH in an A would even go noticed by WAH to the point of changing things, I mean. So we need to be consistent for our own sakes - the values thing. Let them run our lives. Surely that's the high rd.
Yeah, 1 hr therapy sessions are way too short. I think a 5 day seminar is in order! I would at least find it fascinating, even if it bore the pants off my counselor!!! hahaha.
OW must be hated right now. That one is not possible to fake.
Anti D's? Since when are you on anti D's?
Also have some qs for you on my post if you are still awake :-)
I started wellbutrin on Tuesday- lol! 2 days and no improvement??? COme on already! I decided to take them because I am overwhelmed with facing my future as a divorced mom of a baby and being a single woman and all that entails...so several years ago I took some and after a couple of months or three was able to get back on track to facing obstacles. By dealing with the obstacles, I felt better and then stopped the anti d's. ANd here it is, 9 years later and I haven't needed them all this time!
5 day seminar...like a retreat! Totally!!!! I would want the counselors to have been in our shoes or pretty close!!!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
oh and yeah--some day I will ask WH point blank what he was thinking of me during the time I was 180ing and Dbing my ass off!!! DID HE EVEN FREAKIN NOTICE???? I will ask him. But I will only be talking to the father of my child, not my friend! (lol!)
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Anti D's are very American aren't they? I mean, it's getting that way here too, but I am always surprised by American literature and even sites like this how readily they are suggested or are being used. I am glad they worked for you though last time and clearly you didn't get a dependency. Sorry NM, I hope you don't read this as disapproval or anything..those things just concern me (but I've never taken them and just the other day thought I could be heading that way and that I would accept if my mood didn't pick up).
I am not offended about the anti-D comment at all! It is true that it's so easy! So does the whole world just suffer through life and deal with it- except for the U.S.?
This is how easy it was for me to get my anti-Ds. I emailed my dr. and said "as you may remember, I am still separated but heading for divorce. I am feeling very anxious and depressed and remember taking wellbutrin years ago to help me through a hard time. Is there any way that you could prescribe it to me? Or would you like me to schedule an appointment? Thank you!"
Boom- reply was that the prescription was in the computer and I could pick it up whenever.
Yep too easy!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Give the welbutrin a bit more time. DS takes it in addition to zoloft for his Anxiety & Depression. Took over 2 weeks to build up. I use 5HTP which is OTC and was enough to stop my obsessive thoughts.
And yes, live in the moment. Now is reality. Tomorrow is only a supposition.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
I dunno, we live in pill happy times. Having said that, I believe that anti-d's have a place if used in conjunction with therapy...so often the pills are dished out, but the root of the pain is not dealt with. My stepmother is a case of this. I[ve always thought that, philosophically, pain had a place in making us who we are and stronger.. but now that I know terrible pain (and certainly there is worse) i cannot judge so quickly. again nm, hope you don't mind my comments.
