still separated, headed for D?

[newmama]

M&H ---goooood point about the feelings!!! Wow. I vacillate between wanting to save my marriage and S' family and worrying that I will be a pathetic sore loser who will never face reality. Like it is over you idiot!!! Get it thru your thick skull! There is no such thing as Santa Claus! (LOL I am making fun of myself, not truly being down on myself!)

I love knowing the future is wide open...and if WH files, then there is an end. (for now!)

But of course my feelings are all over the place!

Piano, I am going to figure out what the focus of the next session will be. I wish I could pay a therapist for a 4 hour session-I am a planner and like to find solutions after analyzing stuff(pros and cons). I love to have conclusions. I am ENFJ!
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/the-keirsey-temperament-sorter-test

So this last year has really taught me to be zen like- live in the present (I don't know anything else about zen)and make decisions based on what I want...not what other people think I should want or do because it makes them uncomfortable.

Therefore I will try to calm down and stabilize (come on anti-D's--kick in already!) And stick to my business like friendly attitude toward WH while enforcing the change in visitation. And more GAL.

No worries-I am dedicated to making sure S is going to have the best life he could under the circumstances. But I WILL NEVER BEFRIEND OW!!!!!!!