new chapter with strange WAW

[Gnosis]

"Think about the kids instead of yourself."

Your response: "I am"

"I'm their mother and I've been their primary caregiver since birth."

Your response: "I'm their father and I've made sure they have been well looked after since birth."

I may point out to her that if we are on a path that may lead to reconciliation, then we will start spending more time together as a family, and so we'll each get more time with the kids.

Get off the pursuing bandwagon already and let her do some work for a change.

I will continue to be nice, and friendly, and flirtatious.

And NOT too available and slightly distant. If I was you I would keep up your friendship with that other lady. I would be one helluva lot less available and would make sure to sidestep the hoops she has prepared for you to jump through.

If she wants back in she will make the effort... I honestly don't know why the heck you're thinking about changing tack now when it has been working. LET HER PURSUE YOU. You are in demand. A valuable commodity. Not just anyone - ESPECIALLY a woman who has cheated on you, used you, abused you, tricked you, lied to you and led you on the wonderful merry-go-round of rejection - can get your attention.

A tough balance between letting her know I'm interested, without making her feel she's in the driver's seat. In fact, I want her to know she's NOT in the driver's seat.

And you do that by following the path you have been on.

In my case, I have the advantage that OM is on the other side of the world.

And here buckwheat is where you still DON'T GET IT. The goal is to own as much mental real estate in her mind as you can get. He OWNS her mind and has had ownership of it for about TWO years.

If she is thinking of you, what you are doing, who you are doing it with, when you are doing it, has she lost you for good, how she can get you back... THAT IS GOOD.

I'm relatively certain the A is over.

That's because OM decided that. I bet you that if he so much as sends a small text it will reignite her fantasies and she will drop you like a hot potatoe. PLEASE TRUST ME ON THIS.

she said "Well, I'm not seeing anyone, and I'm not planning on seeing anyone."

BZZZTT ... wrong answer babe. Did you see the escape clause? I did... one word... "planning"

Since this is right before she kissed me, I assume she was implying other than me.

How have your ass-umptions worked out for you in the past?

If my W and I are to take any step forward,

See how you're being drawn back into the melting pot? A few nice words, a kiss... and Future's hormones and hopes are raging again. Two words: DROP IT.

Will I insist on transparency? I don't know.

Are you that desperate? If you are I'll put on my diving suit and come visit your wreck at the bottom of the ocean. Transparency is a NON-NEGOTIABLE requirement.

and more affected by how it makes me feel about her, that she's manipulating both sides of this in such an ugly manner.

Look into a recent history... this is not something new for her.

Unfortunately, I think I will also need her to give up all travel to OM's country altogether.

You're a LONNNNNNNG way from that my friend. But yes, that's a reasonable request.

She will strongly resist making that concession,

Really? Then dump her.

but I'm not sure our M can, nor should need to, survive her ongoing trips there,

It won't because it will leave you a bubbling shell of what used to be a man.

In case you didn't get the message so far... keep on your previous course. Do not blink. Do not look back. Keep the interesting other girl in the picture. You are nowhere near thinking about reconciliation. Geez man, get a grip on yourself! Are you honestly that easy?

You stay your course and if she is committed she will chase after YOU! She has a proven track record. Are you really that fogged out to see that if she really wants you she will chase you to the ends of the Earth... like she did with OM? Wake up brother. Keep living your wonderful new life of freedom. If she wants "in" she will make the effort.