Maybe that's the answer for me, then, I will just know when NC is right for me. Time to start listening to my intuition.
Mila, that's why I connected so much to you, I think, we are going through so much similar, except that my H doesn't always act so classic in MLC. I'm still on the fence. He seems "normal" and not depressed, but that may just be an act for me to see, b/c he perceives that I've moved on and am in a good mood - as he told his MIL. When "leaving" me (emotionally) he spewed hatred at me, but nothing since then - back then I was the reason for all that was wrong with him and was too controlling, etc etc. But he tries hard to connect to the children (tonight had a few painfully awkward moments with DSS16 trying to get him to talk... not how you connect to him, he is a QT kid) - and his voice is light and happy... not dark and depressed at all. He doesn't seem to be drinking any more, or at least not around me, and his anger seems gone... again, may all be an act?
Here's the most recent link from HB I'm reading. There are more.
I can't help but always try to "figure out" if he's MLC or not. It's so hard for me b/c he's so dark to me now. We don't talk about anything.
Truegritter, that's so true about the one day/next day thing. My H was so nice to me just recently I almost (almost) wondered if he wanted to try to see if there was anything left b/t the two of us. Remember, I was wondering if he wanted something from me? Nothing has come up yet, no "can I have this car and you pay for half?" or anything similar.
I have to be happy with crumbs. He's here in the house, has not mentioned D (except a few times in anger and almost always forgets about it instantly... or at least never truly pursues it) - and we still have good laughs a lot - again, if it were the Six Love Languages and not the Five, I'd say that was H's LL. LOL.
I guess for now I'll go dim, I'll not go out of my way to avoid him, and try to detach lovingly but still take opportunities to show how much fun/funny I can be and laugh with him.
I'm pretty sure he's blocked me from his posts on facebook since you can choose who sees stuff. My friend mentioned a post he made but it doesn't show up on my fb page when I look at his page. I thought about de-friending OW but haven't yet, and also maybe of de-friending him... but I don't know that I want to get rid of any source of intel, plus I know it drives OW nuts to think I have a window into her life.
