Positive Lifetime Attitude Award Goes to...

[Truegritter]

MnH

This

but then I think that perhaps he was starting an MLC and I interrupted it, which is why this time it's so much more forceful.

and this

PS with earlier EA - he relapsed and I caught wind of it and forced him back into the M by threatening to leave, giving him an ultimatum - and he chose me...

I feel like if I gave him that same ultimatum now, he'd walk, and I'm not ready to do that just yet.

made me remember this from my thread a while back that has stuck with me.

they roll around from day to day. That is why you detach...so you don't go through that roll with them. One day they are the old person...the next some evil alien...just how it rolls. Don't expect a commitment to the process. It happens when it does....any earlier than that and you might as well be talking to a dog. They look at you..listen and then are gone...well maybe a dog is better.....

I had to go NC to totally detach but you will know when you should do that. I did want to have some contact so we could be friends. But you CAN do that AFTER a time of NC and upon reaching loving detachment. I think if you ask yourself do you have expectations when you have conatct with H? Do you find your emotions swinging when you do? That's what it was for me and that's when I said enough...and went NC.

It got so much better for me after that...