Positive Lifetime Attitude Award Goes to...

[Mila]

MH, do you have the link to HB Hurting Badly? If you have it handy that would be great, so I don't have to look for it.

I can relate to your your view of not "forcing him out". I couldn't do it. When mine came back the first time, he moved back the same day he split with OW and 2 months of misery started, within a week he was back communicating with OW. I didn't know. He was not into working on M at all. WH walked around like the living dead, depressed and told me he felt trapped. I asked him why did you come back, you could have stayed in your apartment? No answer, he just asked me "Do you want me to leave?" And despite him making my life really miserable and seeing that he obviously did not want to be there...I said no.

The last 3 months that he was moved out I was his friend, DB'd like crazy and all he did was cake eating. So does being his friend work? He just takes advantage and maybe it removes his guilt, because he thinks that I'm OK with the arrangement and he has everything as he had before plus an "exiting" new sex partner.

If you give him an ultimatum, he may walk, they don't have the guts to do it themselves and sometimes they just look for an excuse, which you would give him.

I totally understand that you want to shake things up by changing your behavior. One of the DB principals is "if it doesn't work, change it".

Not sure if it applies in MLC. Not much step by step advice from Michele on that subject.