Quote:

Hi Cal,

I will think about your post! Don't have my DR book yet but I did order one yesterday to do the thread Sage started rather than ask for mine back from David.

I know the proper way if I were DBing is to DETACH and do my own thing. I have never got that down to where I could do that.

I think I will work on my homework for me though!



Well, detaching isn't easy so it's ok for it to take a long time. I think it takes everyone a long time. The myth associated with detaching is that once you detach, you're done. Unfortunately you have to keep detaching and consciously think about it - it's not magic.

That's why having some actions and plans about how you're going to go about detaching - (the same thing you'll answer when you figure out how to stop some of the black&white thinking) - is the best way to go about it - you'll have to keep using those methods.

You've already done a great deal of detaching already - you're living on your own and keeping the house in great shape! You've managed to feed yourself, take care of the dogs, continue going to work, take care of normal life - all of those little things we overlook!

These are all great steps but it's time to do something for Pam - for the future of Pam... not just fulfilling basic needs or keeping your sanity. What if this sitch never happened? What would you want to be doing today?

For me, one art class was enough - it was just once a week! One little 3 hour evening out of an entire week of my sitch... definitely not a huge time commitment but it was the first step for me to start thinking about what I really wanted to do with MY life. Not what I wanted to do with the R, not what I wanted to do with Ceb's and my life... what I wanted to do for ME.

This is 100% independent of anything else going on in your life.... (unless the one thing you want to do is join the Peace Corps and fly over to Africa... that may affect things! ) ... so pick something and just go with it. If you don't like it, pick something else - do something for you!

-Calystra