You do so much better than me. I know all this intellectually but I get stuck IRL> last night H was here and goes on and on raising his voice aobut how DISGUSTING the computer is, how when he used it is was NEVER THAT DISGUSTING and he has no idea WHAT I DO TO MAKE IT SO DISGUSTING and it went on and on...He starts lecturing me condescendingly about how to do better - I sat and said nothing because I was determined not to defend, last out, etc...but it was killing me inside...finally I started to get up and walk away and he raises his voice even louder "DONT WALK AWAY FROM ME! THAT IS RUDE!" I felt crushed. Anything I say or do makes it worse!
Then he yells at S "get to the table now~" and you have to understand it's not always what he says, it's how he says it, yelling, intense, hostile. I really react when he does this with S. He saw whatever look on my face and attacked me again "WHAT?! WHAT'S THAT LOOK?!?!" as if he really would hear me if I tell him.
Then weird things happen when he's here and looking for a fight. The glass plate broke in the microwave - another thing for him to laugh at me about and let me know how I can't take care of anything and how messed up I am.
It doesn't stop! He;s so aggressive. like you said, Red face, bulging eyes...
Script, walking away, all of it makes it worse and he doesn't see it.
He takes S to his house tonight. For the first time. I've been depressed all day, not getting out of bed.
