Not Sure Where I Am

[RedHeadWife]

Hey, guys, nothing really new to report. H isn't feeling well. The only weird thing that happened today was when I got up, he was already up & kissed me on the cheek as opposed to a "normal" kiss. I'm not going to read anything into it -- I'm *assuming* it was b/c his throat was hurting & he didn't want to get me sick.

I went home to "check" on him at lunch (yeah, make sure he was where he was supposed to be, I admit) and he was sleeping. I lay down w/ him & he was stroking my arm, etc. & everything seemed fine & nice.

We're having some problems w/ our S5 right now, so if you pray, please add him to your prayer list. He just seems really angry right now. He's always had these bouts of periods of time where he gets really angry & we can't figure out what is going on w/ him. We've talked to his teacher, though, and this time, we are suspecting it's this other little kid he has started hanging around & doesn't seem to be a very good influence.

Anyway, that's all that's going on. I'm just still on the fence as to whether things are really ok or not. I'm leaning toward feeling that I'm just reading into things b/c of what has happened & he is absolutely just fine w/ everything. He doesn't ever talk about any issues in the R & he knows from the past that if he wants anything changed, he needs to talk to me about it. That was partly what led up to our D sitch. He was very angry & resentful towards me for literally YEARS of feeling rejected, lonely, neglected, etc. while I truly had no idea he was feeling this way. I have fully owned up to my hand in the downfall of our M at that point, but I still can't read his mind, although one time he said that the person he was going to spend the rest of his life should just KNOW these things.

He always talks about our future and there never seems to be any doubt that we will be together & doing everything that he has planned, etc.