No I'm not emotionally dependant on him anymore, nine months ago I was, far too much, dont get me wrong I love him to bits but I choose to be with him now not need to be with him. Ironically it was what hurt him most, that I didn't need him anymore! Financially I do need our joint incomes as otherwise I would have to make big changes if I was to go it alone after thirty years!
I never thought I'd get there but with other dbers inspiration and in particular mindfull over the last week I have made it to a place of peace about being on my own!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
No I'm not emotionally dependant on him anymore, nine months ago I was, far too much, dont get me wrong I love him to bits but I choose to be with him now not need to be with him. Ironically it was what hurt him most, that I didn't need him anymore! Financially I do need our joint incomes as otherwise I would have to make big changes if I was to go it alone after thirty years!
I never thought I'd get there but with other dbers inspiration and in particular mindfull over the last week I have made it to a place of peace about being on my own!
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
he has lost my trust and that will take at least a few years to build up again . . . he has lost a large part of me I dont feel Im ever going to be able to give back, bits hopefully one day he will miss!
I feel exactly like this. 3 years later, I still don't trust him as far as I could kick his a$$! Don't know if I ever will. Sometimes I wonder if I can live like this forever.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
After the sis incident things changed quite a lot. Having said it was unfair to be judged on what I might have done before and not given the chance to prove that I would try and look at things differently we have moved forward at last. First H started to tell me what was going on with S which helped. Then we had one day when we were having family time and H was nattering to sis on FB, so I wandered off, shortly afterwards he followed and I was able to say that although I understood why he was nattering to her (she was having a really bad day) that he was giving his emotional energy to the wrong place as it was a family day. He agreed and said he knew and we went on to have a nice afternoon.
Then later that week sis invitd me to be a FB friend, which was a biggy.
It was our wedding anniversary last weekend and we had a lovely weekend, very simple due to lack of funds but special we had picnic and a walk.
Then the best anniversary present H asked me to be his FB friend
Then again another attack of the sis lol! H says hes off to help her one day, when we really need the money he'd be spending, I was able to state my case and he agreed I nearly died of shock lol!
Better still that evening he said thankyou for not only being cheery when he went that day, but giving him some money, and that it really meant a lot to him. The biggest breakthrough yet, him sharing feelings for the first time in over a year.
Well the icing on my cake at the moment would to be get him back into work.
I probably wont post much about myself now as i'd hate H to find this and create a problem when things are the best since this time last year, I will of course pop in to see how you all are and most of you know where I am on the Alt.
Take care all of you
(())
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Hi Rabbit, Haven't been around much....felt the need for a bit of space but did want to say hello and catch up on your news. Glad to hear you're doing ok. Cas
