Time for darkness.... (thread number 3)ears open

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I don't know what good N.C. would do anymore. You can't miss something if you're consistently addicted to online dating sites.

You still don't get it, James.

The NC wouldn't be for her; it would be for YOU.

All of this could have been avoided.

Puppy

[james217]

WAW is realizing that alot of things that have been occured is due to stress and the diabetes. I really need to get a handle on this illness.

That's one of my top goals

I have been eating healthier but I'm going to get more information on diabetes. I have way too many emotional outbursts. I talked to a doctor today and read some information.

Here are the major symptoms of diabetes. Mental confusion or strange behavior;
• Blurred vision;
• Dizziness of feeling faint;
• Forgetfulness;
• Heart palpitations;
• Mood swings / emotional outbursts;
• Headaches;
• Sudden or strong sense of hunger.

Health problems that are associated with sugar intolerance include attention deficit disorder, mood swings, headaches, insomnia, emotional outbursts, cystitis, eczema, diabetes... and premature aging.


so I most definitely need to get better because I'm so short fused these days.

[timehealsall]

I agree, once again, with CityGirl.

James... I feel like you are constantly going in circles. You continue to ask for help but you don't take anyone's advice.

This woman is literally killing you and pulling you down lower and lower.

Look at what she does to her own flesh and blood?!?!? She is totally out of control and you need to just work on yourself and get yourself in order and let her do the same for herself.

Take this time, while she is in medical care, to work on you and get yourself in order.

Please, please do not subject your C to any of that again. It breaks my heart.

Good luck and Happy Birthday!

I have learned alot. The job boosted my confidence. Just getting it really helped.

But now I have to refocus and get these health issues finished and done with so I can be as close to "normal" as possible. So I'm just really hanging in there.

Yes WAW has alot of problems. I can admit it. It's really hard to watch her fall apart. She's unraveling (i've been there) and I just want to help and fix it. Most men are just natural attempted fixers. I don't know why.

I think after a little while she will realize that she needed the help and not be mad at me.

It was hard to watch her go. I shed tears and left before they put her in the car.

James, she is in good hands!! she NEEDS help. Don't be sad that she is somewhere where there are licensed professionals who can help her.

You, on the other hand, need to help yourself right now. No one else. You are no good to WAW or your kids, so long as you keep letting this venom kill you.

Stop putting yourself in these horrid situations and think before you act!

Get this through your head.. and I don't want to be harsh with you because I know you ARE a good guy. Hell, I wish my H would put as much effort into our M (slowly but surely) as you are in "fixing" your WAW. Thing is that you CAN'T fix her.

You need to fix yourself first. make positive changes in your life. make yourself healthy again and that'll help your tenfold. you need to detach yourself.. your life depends on it. I don't want to sound like a drama queen, but it's true. you're on this downward spiral and only you have control of where you're going. You've put your life in this woman's hands and you know what? she doesn't give a rats a$$ right now about anyone! Worry about your kids' wellbeing.. she isn't!! they need you. be proactive and step up to the plate. if you can't do this for yourself, do this for them!

hugs!

[timehealsall]

Like PDT said, NC is for YOU!!!!

[CityGirl]

Until you really understand what no contact is about and how it will help YOUR life there is nothing more to really say.

No contact is not a tactic to fix your marriage. No contact is a way for you to get your own sh*t together and sort of step back and reevaluate what you need to do for you and the betterment of your present and future. And right now your WAW can't be a part of that.

It will take weeks for her AD's to kick in and months of C'ing before anything can happen FOR HER.

I feel like you are back to square one.

[james217]

Until you really understand what no contact is about and how it will help YOUR life there is nothing more to really say.

No contact is not a tactic to fix your marriage. No contact is a way for you to get your own sh*t together and sort of step back and reevaluate what you need to do for you and the betterment of your present and future. And right now your WAW can't be a part of that.

It will take weeks for her AD's to kick in and months of C'ing before anything can happen FOR HER.

I feel like you are back to square one.

I'm learning C.G. This diabetes is kicking my butt. I'm trying to fix it.

I've actually been reflecting alot today. Thinking about things I need/want to do.

Losing the job really lowered my confidence level. I liked the job alot.

I'm going to set up all these doctors appointments now that I'm not working.

Alot of people from my training class have emailed or called saying how it's not the same without me.

They mailed me a birthday card. I hope I get it soon.

ALot of people were really mad because they wanted me to stay and be in the next training class. That made me feel good.

Me and WAW have agreed C.G. She's trying to fix things and so am I. We have had some good memories and some not so good. But we're both realizing we need alot of things fixed individually before we can fix our R or M. thats even if it can be fixed. So we're going to chill out on alot of things. It goes back and forth. Good day bad day. Good date bad encounter. It's a loophole that is going to stop. The only way to stop it is by working on our individual issues. We took steps back but I think we're taking steps forward too.

So I'm trying to fix my things she'll fix hers.

I gave it my best shot with the job. I cannot be too sad about it.

I'm just going to keep on working on things with me and bettering myself because I don't like the direction I've turned again.

Time for a self 180.

[james217]

I agree, once again, with CityGirl.

James... I feel like you are constantly going in circles. You continue to ask for help but you don't take anyone's advice.

This woman is literally killing you and pulling you down lower and lower.

Look at what she does to her own flesh and blood?!?!? She is totally out of control and you need to just work on yourself and get yourself in order and let her do the same for herself.

Take this time, while she is in medical care, to work on you and get yourself in order.

Please, please do not subject your C to any of that again. It breaks my heart.

Good luck and Happy Birthday!

I have learned alot. The job boosted my confidence. Just getting it really helped.

But now I have to refocus and get these health issues finished and done with so I can be as close to "normal" as possible. So I'm just really hanging in there.

Yes WAW has alot of problems. I can admit it. It's really hard to watch her fall apart. She's unraveling (i've been there) and I just want to help and fix it. Most men are just natural attempted fixers. I don't know why.

I think after a little while she will realize that she needed the help and not be mad at me.

It was hard to watch her go. I shed tears and left before they put her in the car.

James, she is in good hands!! she NEEDS help. Don't be sad that she is somewhere where there are licensed professionals who can help her.

You, on the other hand, need to help yourself right now. No one else. You are no good to WAW or your kids, so long as you keep letting this venom kill you.

Stop putting yourself in these horrid situations and think before you act!

Get this through your head.. and I don't want to be harsh with you because I know you ARE a good guy. Hell, I wish my H would put as much effort into our M (slowly but surely) as you are in "fixing" your WAW. Thing is that you CAN'T fix her.

You need to fix yourself first. make positive changes in your life. make yourself healthy again and that'll help your tenfold. you need to detach yourself.. your life depends on it. I don't want to sound like a drama queen, but it's true. you're on this downward spiral and only you have control of where you're going. You've put your life in this woman's hands and you know what? she doesn't give a rats a$$ right now about anyone! Worry about your kids' wellbeing.. she isn't!! they need you. be proactive and step up to the plate. if you can't do this for yourself, do this for them!

hugs!

To be honest. I don't like the kids to see me like this although s10 has seen me. The last time I saw s10 we played "wizards 101" (a kiddie version of World of Warcraft) and had our computers and were having fun playing the game with our characters.

I miss them dearly. I love them.. I have highs and lows. I'm trying to balance and level myself. Some days I'm very depressed. Some days happy. The job really helped me alot.

WAW is out of the hospital. She got checked out yesterday. She is going to counseling on Monday. She also has antidepressants that she's going to get filled with the weekly allowance I gave her.

Im just taking it one step at a time. I'm stuck in alot of ruts and circles and I have to stop spinning around in circles like htis

[james217]

well it's been 3 days since i've updated this thread. (this is a summary from the other page I THINK I TALKED ABOUT THIS ALREADY)


let's do a quick update.

may 6th (thursday)

I take WAW her phone back because she needs to call job. She got her job back and starts on the 24th. We talked for a little while. No kissing or hugging passionately. She did kiss my cheek and compliment my weight loss and clothes. I brought us both lunch and then I went back home. WAW was upset about mental illness warrant. She stated she was embarrassed because she was taken there by XH brother. I stated I did not know they were going to do all that and apologized several times. She said she's still upset and hurt. I felt I did what I needed to. Also that I may have been illogical because of depression and diabetes and overreacted.

here's a few text messages from waw on that day



I don't like the person I become when the button is pushed.....b/c when its pushed something is usually blown out of proportion

I validated and stated I understand that we are both moody and out of control sometimes and it's going to take time patience and counseling. I also stated to her if I started ranting and raving to provide me with water and a banana or a sweet snack to raise my blood sugar. This text was in reference to what occured May 5th.


What can they do to stabilize ur mood swings

WAW sent this text when I was explaining about diabetes and symptoms and anger and all the other things I have experienced that I have told my counselor and doctor about. They both agreed it was dude to my diabetes and mixed in with depression.



H.......what else can be said....we discuss this a lot....what r u going do about it....stop worrying about everything else and get ur health right

I validated and told waw that i'm working on those things. Told her about appointments I had set up. Told her it's impossible for me not to worry about my family.

I text more than she does so that's why i'm summarizing my texts.



h....everyone is not strong like u....wiliing to fight and debate like u.....I'm not like that.......