This train: rolling down a no-come-back track!

[LolaL]

Yeah that's me...lol...

I think we still think about our ex's because when we went into this, we did not expect them to be ex's. I know I didn't. And coming to terms with the fact that the marriage is over does take time.

Check out what BA posted...I like the fact that just because I miss the SG, still think about him, and wish, on occasion, that things were different does not necessarily mean I would take him back. I will always love the SG. But, I also have learned to love myself. I had a friend of mine tell me that sometimes you need to love yourself more. So, Poet, look in the mirror and love yourself, and know that you deserve better than a guy who would mess with your head as much as your xh did, and continues to do.

[poet]

Hi Lola,

Thanks for posting on my thread.

And yes, I'm right there with you on all counts. Btw, I just read your thread again and I agree with gardener AND you. Again, I'm right there with you. Just because we aren't dating, doesn't mean we aren't growing or moving on. I'm in so much better shape than I was this time last year, thank GOD!

In fact, I've been very busy lately, just trying to sell his "stuff" is enjoyable. LOL. Now, if I could only sell that tractor!

take care,
poet

[LolaL]

I have to tell you, a little bit of karma came back to bite my xh in the butt. His decision sent us into financial ruin. But...he got to keep the house, his big fancy car...and I was forced to move into a small apartment.

In December he lost that big fancy car because he could not make the payments.

This month, he will no longer have a cell phone because he cannot afford it.

Now, I may have moved across the country, but I still have my car, and I have a nice little apartment. I have a good job, and life is good.

So I say sell baby sell!!!

[Gardener]

"I like the fact that just because I miss the SG, still think about him, and wish, on occasion, that things were different does not necessarily mean I would take him back. I will always love the SG."

Took me a while to realize that I was still in love with a memory. A memory of a person who no longer exists.

I think we still think about our ex's because when we went into this, we did not expect them to be ex's.

Yep. When we exchanged vows I thought we were, in effect, saying, "I am the one person who will never give up on you."

Least that's what I was saying.

[LolaL]

Me too. I remember that day still so clearly, and being deliriously happy that I was marrying this man. I was excited when we planned our future together, what we would do when we retired, and I felt safe, warm, and loved.

But it was a lie, a facade. He might have been safe, but I sure wasn't.

[whatisis]

I know myself it's very hard to bury 17 years of my life! That person happened and for many years I thought would be the only person I would ever be with. I had no concept of the "end", I was in it just like the vows said "for better, for worse". Our society seems to look at divorce as something like a bad flu, everybody gets it so move on. Well, it causes incredible hurt and scars that will open and close for a long, long time. The only thing that I can think of that is worse would be to lose a child (and 90% of couples who experience this end up divorced!). Anyway, I just thought I'd jump in and add to whatever it is you folks are doing! So just keep on keepin' on, it's the only way to go.

[poet]

Good Morning,

Got up early, couldn't sleep, too much going on.

Temporary Support Hearing: Monday, May 10th at 2 p.m.

Finally have a court date set. We are going in front of the judge to try and get temporary support from the WAS. I was just reading on another thread, I think it was Clinging to Hope, in "The Journey Begins" thread where everybody was talking about how the other spouse just likes to blame everything on us."It's easier that way." Boy, that was the hard-earned truth!

Anyways, I spent two hours with my attorney yesterday preparing for the hearing. She said he probably is trying to avoid this hearing; she said, "I know I would be." But, as I can see it, the WAS is still doing what he's always been doing. Nothing!

I called the propane people yesterday to see how much he owes: That was a funny story - well not really funny, but more pathetic. How stupid can one person be? I am so glad I'm out of the major part of my grief stage and just coming into my own, waking up and taking care of poet.

Nancy, the office manager, said he came into the office a week after we filed for the temporary support hearing, on Feb. 4th, demanding that she shut off the propane (while it was freezing outside, and I would have been without heat). Nancy told me, "Well, of course we couldn't do that because your gate was locked." LOL. Lucky me, huh?

Nancy told me, "I've been down that road with an ex-husband" -- she was wide open with me. So, she waited until the $650 bill went higher than $100 past due, and sent it to the collection agency. Now, my H's credit will have a black mark on it. (Oh well). la la la. She said the next time I need propane, I will have to put it in my name because the account is now closed, as of Feb. 4th.

My atty. agrees that the H is only paying the electric bill because he wants the house. (I still don't understand that mentality, but who cares at this point). How does one who pays the electric, entitle one to be awarded the house in the end???

I think he's in for a surprise. At least, I hope things will go my way. Please pray for me.

poet

[Virtually_Handsome]

((((((poet))))))

I think he's in big trouble. Trust yourself, trust your attorney.

HUGS!

[ClingingToHope]

Good luck Poet. I've been giving STBXW money all along because for a long, long time I thought it was just a matter of time until it worked out.

I turned out to be very wrong, but at least I know I always lived up to my duty for my family.

Lola, earlier you were talking about karma.

That's hitting STBXW hard now. She's maxed four credit cards. She's sinking thousands more into a house that is underwater and will have to sell as a short sale.

She kicked me out and got to enjoy a very nice summer at our house of 13 years last year. This year the bills are piling up, it'll be on the market all the time so she'll have to keep it spotless -- and in the end she's likely to have to move into an apartment anyway.

Now that will suck for the girls. STBXW keeps filling their heads with dreams of just a smaller house -- no disruption.

Me. I'm on my feet again with a financial plan and realistic goals.

So while STBXW was way ahead of me emotionally when this all started, I'm now way ahead of her in finances and lifestyle adjustment.

Mother's Day is my 1 year anniversary of being kicked out. This year was STBXW's year. Next year is my year.

[whatisis]

Poet, you sound really good. Your post says confident and positive...I love it! All the best on Monday, you'll be in my prayers.