tired of trying...

[beingreal]

The wolf story actually went up as my FB status that day. I loved it. I still do. I really am trying.

H says I kicked him out. I say he left. I also say it doesn't really matter, the end result is the same. But I'll recap, I'm sure my posts from those first few days are hard to follow. God knows they were hard to write.

The first time he moved out went exactly like this time.

*We get into a fight. One of many. Very ugly with lots of yelling & personal attacks.
*He tells me that he hates me, that he's my babysitter, that I don't need him & I treat him like garbage.
*I tell him if he's that unhappy to just leave. This time I was literally sobbing, "If you hate me that much, then just go. No, really, go. Just leave, H." It was usually met with, "Why don't YOU leave???" (because the house is in my father's name & I'm paying for everything.)
*He started packing his stuff in the van & I didn't stop him. I didn't beg him to stay. I didn't help him at all, I never touched an item of his. I had to listen to how I better not destroy his stuff or throw it away. How I was a superb@tch, how he was never coming back.

I was surprised at just how quickly I shut down when he started to pack. I didn't engage at all. I just sat there crying. I think that was part of it--I wasn't reacting the way he wanted me too. I wasn't reacting at all. (He said that to me once when I told him I understood he was upset--made a comment that I wasn't upset at all.)

So yeah, he says I kicked him out because I told him to go. I think he left of his own accord. I feel that it's all semantics & doesn't really matter in the end. Gone is gone. Except he gets to play the victim card in his version. I'm not looking for sympathy, so I don't care how it's played out.

Am I wrong? Does it matter when dealing with him? Does this make me the WAS or the LBS?

I'm so confused.