I feel by the time many of us arrive here. (this board) our old R is toast, gone...over It's not working at all for either party. Yet so many of us cling to it out of fear.
I'm not saying end it.... I'm not saying it's over forever. What I am saying is that sometimes things must come to an end in order to be rebuilt and you CANNOT fear that.
THIS is my greatest fear; that so much of what I am told on this board is based on people's jaded opinion and not nearly enough on reinforcing the hopeful messages that CAN be passed on from DB or other sources.
Sorry, I don't feel as though I'm jaded. I think those that really know me would agree. It just really concerns me to see you post something that pretty much says you'll stay married at all costs including yourself.
I do know how difficult this is. I have a son who is three and a daughter who is six. I've struggled with the very same questions that you have. I've made many of the mistakes that you can make before I found this place. I'm sorry if what I said upset you. You were just back and forth on a few things and appeared to me to be struggling.
I guess thats the wonderful thing about advice. You get to pick and choose what you want to listen to heh?
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My marriage is NOT in that place... yet. I suspect people are often overlooking that (not you OT and their advice is just the same blanket advice given to those who, as pointed out, are in radically different sitches than mine.
If you took the time to actually read some of my advice you would clearly see it is not all of the same. Infact it is a bit different here for you because you've been here before.
All I can go by is what you post. I read what you posted about your sitch and how it is affecting you. If you go back and reread it there are a few pretty big contradications. I was just trying to help.
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Oh, and that part about not being afraid to end things... to me that's utter bull-hit. NOBODY can ever not be afraid to end a marriage, especially when there are kids involved. If you can say you are not afraid of that, then you are not human. Sorry.
Fair enough....I should have worded that a litle better. I should have said you must overcome that fear.
It seems as though what I've posted has upset you, if that's the case then I apologize. Jack has good advice so your in good hands.
Again I was trying to offer help, it appeared to me that you were back and forth on a lot of things. Now it seems as though things may not be as bad as they sounded ???
Take care G, I hope everything turns out the way you desire it to.
and their advice is just the same blanket advice given to those who, as pointed out, are in radically different sitches than mine.