Sorry that you find yourself here but as everyone has told you, this is a great forum to discuss your sitch with people that are in similar situations. A few things to consider...as Jack pointed out you will get a lot different opinions here. Some will apply some will not. You will need to sift through and determine what is applicable in your sitch. DB'ing is really counter intuative so sometime you may recieve advise that is contrary to what you may "feel" like doing but may actually work in your sitch.
True has really pointed out that this journey is ultimately about YOU.
I would suggest that you take some time and write down some things you've always wanted to do for YOU but did not do due to circumstances. Post this list. Remember, the things you do going forward are really for YOU. You cannot control another person but YOU can control how you react to your H.
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I have never had lots of friends especially female.
Why is this?
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I hate that H goes out and comes home and I am always there.
If you hate it then why do it?
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I feel a real need to just go somewhere and not come home so that at least I do not feel that he thinks I am just waiting around for him.
Sounds to me like you would be going out, with the expectation that he will notice. Remember DO THINGS FOR YOU - not to illicit a response from him.
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I am so torn as to the fact of weither I should still try connecting with him or if I should just stop trying.
IF you want an opportunity to save your M then you really will need to take some time to figure YOU out first. Don't let these feelings of despair rule you. This is going to be tough road - no doubt BUT you will be fine and you just may find out things about you and H that may make your future R much much better.
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I just feel it would be easier to just throw in the towel and move on but deep in my heart that is not what I really want.
Yep - you'll feel like this sometimes. So what do you really want?
IMO - right now you should sit back and give your H some space. Take this time as a gift...a time for you to REALLY figure out what you want. Don't rush it - do push it - just go with the flow for now.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
