what may be the one thing most lacking in all this is actual proof of the affair. I am SO against snooping, etc but that's what I am struggling with. To me, some deception, or whatever is much more palatable than a full-blow affair. Sure, both are evidence of a damaged marriage but I am more willing to cope with one more than the other. Don't really know how I am going to deal with that unknown.
GH,
My thing here, with what you are saying is...
Is an Affair a dealbreaker now , when it wasn't in the past ?
That is where a boundary would come in...
Because of recent events....
It sounds as if you did not forgive her the first time. And the fear of not knowing now , is bringing up past fear and resentment.
Are YOU okay if this would end today ?
Did you learn from the first go round to be self supportive and not sell yourself out for the sake of the marriage ?
These are HARD questions GH....
They need to be asked...
I really don't need the answers, but you sure do....
