Can you see the Morning After

[sage]

Morning Pam!

Was going to try to compress all of my answers to your posts into one post but figured, hey, what the heck? Take it one small step at a time, SAGE! So, here goes...

(I will say this: YES TO LESS CAFFEINE!!!! )

Now I am wondering do I feel that I am so unlovable that David can't possibly love me or say anything nice about me? Not that he would post anything nice as that isn't why he is on the bb. But I got home and saw his thread had a bunch of posts on it, then checked and he had posted right after I finished chatting with him at work. I don't mean I looked at his thread I mean I looked at where he last posted.

So my immediate ASSumption is that it is about me and that it isn't nice.

Ah...so GOOD THING that we're working on shedding our ASSumptions, no????

Seems like you've put both yourself and David between a rock and a hard place...you asked him to join the boards and he did...but now you're "snooping" on his thread (not reading it -- I understand that you're not doing that) and activities...do you want him to feel good about posting, Pam? Do you want us to feel good about responding to him? About seeking his advice?

My suggestion: STOP monitoring the activity (times, posters, etc) on David's thread and STOP monitoring his activity on other people's thread. You got what you asked for Pam (kudos!), can you try not to make it a mixed blessing?

TRUST in the process (DB), Pam.

Am I afraid that he will say something that will make my friends on here not like me anymore? Is it because my two closest friends turned on me last year after listening to David talk about me?

So this is good introspection, Pam...and it sounds like you're darned close to remembering that you can only control youself -- not what D. does or what we do.

We're here on your thread because we care, Pam. What can YOU do, what's within YOUR CONTROL to foster those positive relationships?

Sage