Please do look up "ladder theory", in short it is a way of describing how men and women look at "joined relationship". So you have categories and you can be moved between categories.
For one:
Moved from long term boyfriend|husband to "friend" role is going to be alot harder to move back up than if you started out in "friend" role. In short you want to be a role where "you have a shot".
When WAW moved us from H role and OM into most of the things we used to do for us, she moved us down to "friend" and sometimes less. Its very hard to reverse this. Many may find it easier to find a new situation and start out "higher" than you would with your own wife. Its not that its impossible to move back up, the question is it worth the effort.
Also short on ladder theory:
You have a female you met and are friends. In her mind you may be a "potential" or she may have put you in "friends" status because of your looks or how you act, etc.
"potential", means you may have a opportunity with her. "Friends", means you probably don't have an opportunity. To move from "friends" to "potential" is very hard, because she has to have a different perception of you. As you know that takes alot of time and with some people is impossible due to how they look at life.
And on your actions. At this point THATS NOT YOUR WIFE. I think if we look at it that way its much easier to do the right things. Because if it is your wife, she can see you doing some wussy things and it doesn't change her perception of you. Where you are at now, you shouldn't apologize when you shouldn't, but you should when you should. Also you may have to have your guard up as much as you would with any other female you don't completely trust.
Its all starting to make more sense on how to do it. So wife moved off our "wife" ladder and onto one where she "has a man" ladder and she's not really interested in you.
