[Truegritter]

NLG

Why don't you try something different. This would be in the 180 category. Instead of focusing on W. Detach from this sitch. Don't talk to her about the affair. She is bucking the counseling say ok I don't think its time for us to go either. Take a break from talking about your R. Be the best Dad you can be. Don't pressure her. Don't pursue her. Don't have expectations of her. The only expectation you should have is for YOU to get better. GAL. Do things with your boys.

Let that settle in with you. You'll find you feel your confidence and power coming back to you. If she says something that is about you or R just validate DON'T ARGUE.

Set some goals for yourself. Not for your W or your M. For you.

To be honest your W may still be in A and you probably need to pay attention to that. She is looking for something to take her pain away. Sometimes that means alcohol and substance abuse and usually A but it is very hard to quit cold turkey any of this stuff but it has to be her choice. Or it's like an alcoholic trying to pass a bar. Get it?

If she is still in the A and she is also living with you and telling you she wants to fix the M then thats a cycle of cake eating that you have to bust. There is a gamble and you have to decide if your ready for the consequences. She may keep on running...

Anyway YOU make these decisions and they will be yours and you will not be the victim of someone elses choices. You make these decisions from a position of strength rather than weakness. When you walk away (if you decide to) you walk away with dignity, grace and confidence. And a better man...

...for this M or the next R you decide to get into.