Absolutely. Both the MLCer and LBS need to be ready. I was wondering if your question had an intentional implication that if it is the LBS who is not ready, she should let the MLCer return anyway.
I didn't mean it that way at all. I'd thought it might be taken that way, but wasn't sure. I would be the LAST one to suggest taking the MLC'er back if the LBS is not ready or cannot handle him/her. I was asking some curious questions in order to understand this part of the process a little more. I'd always known that the process to go though the MLC was never the same for all.
I was just wondering about a few things, I'd read some things in the past and present I'd never faced/considered during his MLC. One of those issues was leaving and coming back. I remember the leaving being done in a emotional way during his MLC, and later during mine..but the physical leaving was never done with either one of us.
We each just waited on the other...in this day and time, both our memories have faded. Out of curiosity I asked my husband if he'd had any idea of what I was facing while going through the change, and he said "none". When HE had gone through, he'd denied the changes taking place within him, and absolutely refused the idea that he was going through The Change of life. Now, he remembers NONE of his, and very little of mine. He has "rewritten" his, somehow, although I cannot say how he could have done that, but the human mind can be a very strange thing.
They say when you don't know something, ask, but I never wish to offend or hurt people either, making them think that I think they're doing something wrong...people have asked ME all kinds of questions, LOL, and I figured it was time to ask some of my own.
I'm a reasonably knowledgeable person, well read in differing areas of life, have experienced a great many things I could have lived without, but had to go through anyway; learned a great deal about these things so I could help others.
I had hesitated to ask these things because I was afraid I'd hurt someone's feelings...and I don't really wish to step on people; I remember when I was hurting so much myself, and thinking questions were being thrown at me...and they hurt me, yet, I found the strength to answer.
The more I had read, these questions kept coming up, and so, I took the plunge to ask so I could gain more understanding of the various possibilities of this.
I have honestly felt at times that I was too far down the road to be of ANY help; but the answers continue to come for a well deep within me, and so, I continue to answer what I can when I can.
I guess it is a good thing when the "teacher"(and I never really considered myself one) can ask a question of the "students".
My thanks to all so far for keeping an open mind, I really do NOT have a clue in many areas, unless it really jumps out at me that detachment needs to be increased or I've seen something the person within the situation has missed.
I have always been grateful for the sounding boards I've had over the years..when one is too close to the situation, things can be missed...and I'm no different in this.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
