Today I am taking S10 to the same orthopedic surgeon that I took S13 to for a second, more qualified opinion on his cracked growth plate. I'm not sure how much I shared of the OS that S13 saw... but, he's a total sports medicine guy. He understands their sport, to a surprisingly detailed level, could relate to the instances that led up to and caused the injury, and knew what training programs are required for their participation in the sport. Most importantly, he understood S13's passion for the sport. And, dealt w/him in a most appropriate matter. So, we'll see what kind of treatment plan he gives him.
H continues to be a, well, JACKLOAD (my new word for him - borrowed from a dear friend). He came home yesterday, prior to my having to leave w/S13 for a soccer game, and rattled off a few condescending remarks w/out an acknowledgment (first) of my existence in the room. (sheesh talk about a runon sentence - too tired to fix) I don't respond, just do "my thing". He follows me into my office. Says my name, three times... "MINDFULL, why don't you ever even greet me anymore?" I kept typing, didn't even raise my eyes to meet his. He stomps out.
I really hope this legal SA, now turned petition for divorce, doesn't take longer. May 17th is my planned day. Ferg had a good idea. And, I think I like it. A lot. He thinks I should have H served at the apartment he doesn't think I know anything about... It is pretty genius.
I'm torn between not having the satisfaction of "the conversation" of I know you're f*cking around, I've given this more effort than any fool should, now get the h*ll out of here. AND, just serving the JACKLOAD at the apartment... which speaks volumes. The more I type it, the more I love it.
I need to consider my boys, though. I would get immense pleasure knowing he was served somewhere he thought was sacred, and secret, etc... and, IS NOT. BUT, am inviting trouble? I'm a more, straight-up conversation-type girl. And, if that makes the most sense FOR MY BOYS, I'll do it, w/out the self gratification of the other method.
With all of this chaos, I'm doing a lot for me lately. And, I like it.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Serve him at the apt. It will be away from your home, your kids will not be present, he will have time to calm down before he contacts you and that's good since you are with the kids most of the times.
I dont think he thinks it's sacred. I think he feels it is secret and "exictingly dirty" and I believe his anger and condesceding comments are because he feels it in his gut that you "know" but your attitude startles him. He is thinking :"if she knew, there is NO WAY she wouldnt have said anything." Little does he know...
As for the rest happening in your life, I am happy for you. Next time you are in Maddison let me know. Maybe you can find the time to deliver something for me. K
Make sure your posting here is "safe" at least until the sh!t hits the fan.
Umm what K said. I think you will be able to have that conversation anyways.... after he digs his sack out of his bunghole.
I can't even imagine what he is thinking now that you are not calling, texting, and catering to him.
Good Lord to be a fly on the wall. May be worth a few extra pennies to the PI to take pictures so you can see the look on his face.
You've done good girl!
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
A) Our friend's nickname is "Master of the Obvious", aka MOTO. I shall refer to Fergie henceforth as "Captain", which for some reason reminds me of the Captain Morgan tagline, "Got a little captain in ya?"
B) The 'mottled' descriptor was quite impressive. I knew exactly what to picture when I read that! Sounds like you looked cute!! I have on some trouser shorts myself today, cinnamon-ish colored (brown but not quite brown)...
C)Good luck to your son, sounds like the doc has a good handle on things.
D)I would serve at the apartment. Just enough of a "GOTCHA SUCKER" feel to it. Besides, I am SURE he will be contacting you after that and you can have your conversation then. The only downsides are 1)You don't get to see the look on his face and 2)You miss the creative stories he may give if you confronted him at home--"Apartment? There is no apartment, are you crazy?" Oh the lies they try to tell when they are caught!
Glad you are focusing on you. Take care girl. And seriously, once school is out for summer I will be taking one of Dan's week's with the kids to come visit. And you can take me to Madison...
I really like the serve at the apartment idea, though I am trying to make sure it's not just because of my intense dislike for this so-called man. But I like the idea that it will leave him literally nowhere to hide. If you do it any other way, I think his going to start trying to cover his tracks, and hide the evidence. Not that it would help him much, since you've already got it. And it might be fun to watch.
If he's served at the apartment it might just knock the wind right of out his sails, whereas anything else would probably take him down the deny and deflect road. And that doesn't sound like a lot of fun.
I can't get over the fact that he thought he could get away with having a apartment like that, and you'd never find out! Then again, he got away with it for a good while. But still.....
OP - Thank you. I appreciate you following along...
Originally Posted By: Kalni
He is thinking :"if she knew, there is NO WAY she wouldnt have said anything." Little does he know...
Kalni - You're absolutely correct on this. Anyone who knows me IRL, would agree... I wear my heart on my sleeve, and am incredible transparent in my actions and words. He should know, better than anyone. Guess I can keep a secret.
Originally Posted By: sandycay
You've done good girl!
Sandycay - I'll be thrilled if you say this, still, about June 1. All should be out of the bag, served, and setting by then... But, thank you. I'm trying. My first responsibility to my kids is to act w/dignity and respect. Hence, the "walk away/ignore routine" because he wouldn't want to hear what I have to say!
Originally Posted By: BobbiJo
Glad you are focusing on you.
BBJ - Thank you for everything. Focusing on my has helped my PMA, and my heart...
Originally Posted By: Virtually_Handsome
Have I mentioned that I don't like him?
Jeff - That makes a few of us.
Originally Posted By: Serenity13
Doofus.
Twin - Ya got that right!
CBIH - LOL Yes, and he doesn't photograph well.
Originally Posted By: Dane
The WAS needs to feel the consequences of their actions.
Dane - I know you know all about this. I value your opinion. Thank you for the reminder.
OVERALL - Thank you for the well wishes. I agree w/the idea of serving at the apartment, but... everyone remember... this is my life, my kids, my future. I'm more interested in getting through this w/as little drama as possible, with integrity in my actions, and a clear path for mine and my kids future.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
