Can you see the Morning After

[psluke]

Hey Stranger,

I HAVE MISSED YOU!!!!!!! Are you doing ok?

[psluke]

Hey Sage,

I will have to wait and see if I am going to do the reading and questions.

Today I read chapter one online and started on the questions and I am as depressed as Not sure if I start in a better mood it won't depress me as much or not. But today the more I read and thought on the questions the more I started to spiral down. Think I am going to stop for now.

Will try again when mood is better.

Actually damn it I think I am in the mood Tal described as get on the roof with an Uzi!!!

Now, I don't recall that she said how best to avoid this little problem! Need to go read her post again!

So forget everything I just said, I need to get out of here!!!!!!!!

[sage]

Not sure if I start in a better mood it won't depress me as much or not. But today the more I read and thought on the questions the more I started to spiral down. Think I am going to stop for now.

Will try again when mood is better.

Pam -- What do you think is depressing you about the process? Is it all the questions on the thread? You don't have to answer them all, hon, right? Pick and choose!

Is it what seems like a long path in front of you? Hon...it's one small step at a time.

Pam, I thank luck and God and my husband and myself for all the changes that have occurred in the last year for us...but the absolutely single most impactful thing that happened for me was finding DR and implementing the steps. Methodically. One foot in front of the other. In SO many ways I have a better m. today than I ever did. But, more importantly, at the "end of the day" Pam, I know in my heart that I did what I could to DB for myself...heck, that's why I started the new thread! I NEED TO DB some more, baby! And it'd be GREAT if you were right there in lock step with me.

If it's the the weight of the task in front of you, Pam, let's start small.

Please list 5 ASSumptions about YOURSELF that keep you from having a Beginner's mind, 5 ASSumptions about DAVID and 5 ASSumptions about your M or M in general.

I'm going over there right now to post those for myself...

Sage

[psluke]

Oh Sage,

{{{{{{{Sage}}}}}}}} I'm sorry.

I was taking it out on you and that is one of my MAJOR problems.

I will do the things you listed and I am going to make myself do the other as well.

I am pissy and restless this afternoon, drank way too much coffee and am about to jump out of my skin.

I owe you make up on that one.

Really sorry!

[sage]

Ms. Pam --

I'm not one to turn down a good apology so thanks for that! Were you taking something out on me? All I saw was that you weren't sure you were up for the task today...hey, that's ok! I just posted a bunch of ASSumptions (too overwhelming, etc) and tried to offer up solutions.

{{{PAM}}}
Sage

[psluke]

I REALLY HATE myself when I get in this mode!

I told David he is really hard to pick an argument with when he isn't even at his desk!!

I feel better now, so how the crap do I deal with this stuff without it spewing out??

[psluke]

Ms. Pam --

I'm not one to turn down a good apology so thanks for that! Were you taking something out on me? All I saw was that you weren't sure you were up for the task today...hey, that's ok! I just posted a bunch of ASSumptions (too overwhelming, etc) and tried to offer up solutions.

{{{PAM}}}
Sage

Yes, I was and it wasn't anything at all to do with you it was all to do with ME.

I was just kicking out and you were a target. I really really am sorry.

I did get down and feeling a bit overwhelmed working on the questions. Mostly down. I guess it made me think about where we are and sometimes I try to forget that, rather than be realistic about it.

[sage]

I did get down and feeling a bit overwhelmed working on the questions. Mostly down. I guess it made me think about where we are and sometimes I try to forget that, rather than be realistic about it.

well...babe...not to be glib (ok, to be glib) but from where I sit here's where you are:
you are on the bb's surrounded by friends

you've got a kickA$$ thread that's gonna help you rewalk thru DB'ing

your h is on the bb and appears to be some sort of DB savant Not only has he not-grudgingly-at-all learned the tricks of the trade but he's on here doling out savvy advice!

{{{PAM}}} I know your m. sitch isn't where you want it to be right now...but hon, you're on the path, babystep, babystep, babystep.

Sage

[Cupcake]

Pam:

Listen to the "sage one". Unfortunately, DBing actually takes work. Kinda like at Weight Watchers they have a saying "If you work the program, It will work for you."....

I too need to re-read and refocus my efforts....darn, just doesn't get any easier!


love, Cupcake
t

[psluke]

Thank you Sage and Cupcake both!!!

The drive home helped. I definitly was stir crazy this afternoon.

It wasn't just mental I feel like I want to kick and scream and jump out of my skin!

Soooo my project is to figure out how to deal with these feelings when they come on me.

Number one LESS COFFEE!

David asked if I got out for lunch, he knows I can't do that but he just keeps saying tell your boss you are going out. Shoot right now they are LOOKING for ways to cut payroll, I'm not making ANY waves!

But then he asked if I meditated when I got to feeling like that, and I didn't even think of trying it.

So he had a good thought there and I didn't try to pick a fight with him too bad this afternoon but it was juuuust under the surface.

I did apologize to him if I came across that way, he didn't say if I did or not just offered helpful suggestions.