Mach1, To tell you the truth, I did it in the spur of the moment, no forethought, just felt right. After I did it, I sat and wondered why - but it was probably just instinct and having thought through yesterday many thoughts about two things: 1. I know I cannot change anything, and H is half way out the door with OW at the moment. Never mind that she's not right for him and it's just all silly, high school games - he thinks right now, in the moment, that she's his soul mate. Having internalized that - I decided to do the one thing I CAN do and that is work on me - to make me happy, fulfilled and complete/whole. 2. I really had a lot of a-ha moments yesterday where times and actions on H's part showed me over and over throughout the day, like God was showing me a movie, that H likes to pursue and he also likes having me "right where he wants me." He cake eats like a pro... and while I am GALing for myself, H will be wondering and panicking about what went wrong... although last time I went dim, H told MIL that I was off doing my own thing and seemed "fine" with everything. I'm really not sure on this path, but I'm going to take it and see where it leads.
Now, that being said, getting up and moving just felt right, it was not thought out, but as I sat there, I did start wondering "what does he think about what I just did." I had those thoughts pop in a few times, but slammed them back down and paid attention to the presentation.
I'm still not 100% detached, but I can see the path through the trees and am on it most of the time.
