Are there signs?

[Wildaces81]

Eric, Thank you for helping me not make mistakes and guiding me in this difficult time. A chapter in my life is at a close and I know that as hard as it will be to start writing a new one it will be for the better. I know that my children will know someday that I fought for something that was worth while. I don't know what the future holds for my w and I but I do know that letting her go completely is the right thing to do. She is in a place that I'm not welcome any more. I will grow from this and if I ever meet another I will be damn sure I do not repeat the mistakes I made. I will not compromise myself to make another happy. The sad thing is that my daughter and my son will not get to have the same experiances that I had growing up. I wish that my w was thinking of things like this but I know she cannot or will not.(mind reading I know)

Regrets regrets regrets, something that I do more than I like to admit. Praying to God asking him to let me just step back a few months or years to fix this, wow how I do not want to live like this any more. I think this is why Bruce Almighty is one of my favorite movies. Here is a man that has it great that if he just stop wanting and realized that he has all that he needs he would be happy. I'm Bruce, I would want and want, and never be truly thankful for what God blessed me with. Am I being punished? No I don't think so because we all have free will. She chose her path, I'm going to start my own, one that isn't nicely lit and easy. I'm going to start living for today. I will not regret that I didn't do today what I could have done yesterday. I will just do. How stupid I have been but my eyes are opened. I lost something I treasured beyond compair and the sad thing is she doesn't know how much I do love her. My heart isn't closed off to her, i dont think that I am capable of doing so. I just cant continue being married to someone that only has her interest at heart. I cannot fight for it any more.