I am back...and finding me

[ericmsant2]

Thanks Trapt. I could not believe that she is taking this approach. I was amazed. I know that this is now ultimately about money for her.

I have instructed my L to do EVERYTHING possible to try and ensure that I can get 50% custody.

I am so pissed at myself for trying to save this M. I should have acted when the L told me to. I should have tried to have her removed from the house but I was really trying to save this. I was trying to maintain a normal home for the kids. I did not want them to be pissed at me for throwing mom out but man I feel like I should have acted sooner.

I did everything I said I would do - I paid down as much of the debt as possible, I never filed, I paid off her car, I did everthing I said I would do and now I feel like I am getting screwed. Am I am angry - yes. However, I take comfort in who I have become. Althought I have some regrets over how I dealt with this sitch early I have grown from it and that I do not regret.

I continue to remind myself that I own my part of the failure of the M.

I own some of my actions during the early part of this process.

I own my feelings.

I own my LIFE - It is mine to live, to learn and to grow.

I feel crappy but I am not defeated! Lost once said to me...be the change that you want to be in the world....you were right Lost...you were right. I will be this change. I will be a MAN!

Eric