Maybe I need to brush up on my boundary setting so I can properly understand what to DO in the case of emergency.
Again, it seems as though your missing the mark a bit about boundaries.
They are not used in cases of emergencies. They are a well layed out plan as to who you are, how you want to live and what is acceptable and what isn't.
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What action should I be taking?
No one can answer that but you and it should be all about you. How you can and can't live.
You have said this is unacceptable on one hand, but you also say your willing to live like this for the sake of your marriage. I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but this is what you end up with when your stuck in the middle of a whole lot of fear.
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DBing and ALL I DO is about saving my marriage. That's the sole reason I am here. Yes, saving myself is part of that my saving my marriage is the ultimate goal.
I completely disagree. You can't have a healthy R without a healthy YOU and living in fear, anxiety, anger, depression (the list goes on and on) is NOT HEALTHY.
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So what you (and I will use you trapt as a stand in for everyone since I am hearing a lot of this lately) are saying is that this action I need to take right now will help save my marriage? How so? OR are you simply saying, as so many have said before (mostly from outside the DB community), that it's intolerable to suffer through the kind of things my W is doing and it's time for me to get out while the getting's good?
Now I may be way off base here. This is just my opinion, take it for what it is worth. I feel by the time many of us arrive here. (this board) our old R is toast, gone...over It's not working at all for either party. Yet so many of us cling to it out of fear.
I'm not saying end it.... I'm not saying it's over forever. What I am saying is that sometimes things must come to an end in order to be rebuilt and you CANNOT fear that.
